Reunion: Me and My Blog

I'm sorry oh dear blog, I left you for ages. Well, I just lost my cynical side during my pregnancy and cynical is an important keyword in this blog :D. I think it's important for a woman to have positive attitudes while she's pregnant so I just didn't feel right to write here. I wrote at my friendster blog instead.

Good news is, I've delivered my baby (January 5). Oh, is he a cute baby boy! How he changes me in some ways! And exactly that's the bad news. I think I lost most of my cynical side--or is it just my imagination? He95x--. I should ask my husband, sometimes he knows me better than I do.

Well, even if I do lose my cynical side, still I'm not quite sure if it was permanent :D :D :D.
So dear blog, let me write my journal here. Let us forget about cynical or non-cynical. I just have this feeling that it's time to come back to you. Hug!

Weird vs Romantic

Yesterday one of my coworker told other workers including me about his love life, I won't get into the detail here because it's somebody else's life. But his story made me told them about ams and I, how I ask what ams want before I bought something for his birthday present and how I told him what I want before he asked me :P. Also how we buy things, if he wants to buy expensive thing then he must make me buy another expensive thing for myself first before I let him.

My coworker said, "you, weird couple". Ho ho... are we? Maybe we are, but some of my friends thought that we are romantic, in a weird way maybe.. ha ha.

Like one afternoon... while i was still working at steel pipe factory, I told Patrick via Yahoo! Messenger about how lonely and bored I am without weird people around me. Patrik was one of the weird people :P. And I said, "even my husband become less weird now :((".

And the night came, I've already asked ams to pick me up but he made me wait and I had empty stomach. Waiting itself can turn up the angry srilas, so can the hunger. Waiting + hunger = furious srilas.

So, when ams finally arrived, I was no longer a nice wife, I became a sharp-tongued witch.. "what took you so long? You know how long I've been waiting? Where've you been? I'm really hungry! bla bla bla bla bla bla bla. I want to eat now!!!" And the cool husband said, "Where do you want to eat?" -- "I am hungry.. I cannot think anymore!! You should know that!!" -- "...". At the first intersection he asked, "left or right?"(Left=home, right=the city) No answer, because I was also too hungry to say something :P. And apparently he grew tired of my attitude. He too no longer said anything along the way. He hope when we passed by an eating place that I like I told him to stop. But, again, I was too hungry to say something, and he was too tired to ask me. And we just went and went until we crossed over Cilegon border. The road became narrower and darker but he didn't stop the motorcycle. I knew he was tired. He moved his shoulder up and down several times. I was so afraid that he would loose his control over the vehicle... he drove it slower and slower so it became unstable and sometimes it ran over the gravel for a while before it came back to the road. But I was so angry I couldn't say anything to stop him, I thought, "if you want to make me afraid, bring it on!!" instead.

And we reached Serang but suddenly he turned around the vehicle, hu hu I really thanked God when he did that, I didn't want to eat anymore. I was so cold and tired, I just want to sleep peacefully. But he was no longer cool husband, he was crazy. Contrary to how he drove the vehicle before, he made it ran so fast now. Really really fast. I was so afraid, and so cold but my mind was busy thinking what it was all about and I thought things that could make him stop. So, when we reached the city again suddenly I took his helmet off, hihihi. Oh I won!!! He stopped because there're so many officers along Cilegon main road.

I asked him, "What do you want?"

"Nothing", he said.

... ... ...

I said, "I won't give it back to you if you don't tell me something"

"Okay."

... ... ...

Thing is, he stopped near a sleeping mad man. Later he told me he did that on purpose because he knew I am afraid of them. The mad man made me nervous. I want to get out of that place right away, so I said,

"If you don't say anything, I'll just go home by angkot and I will bring these helmets."

"Okay"

So, I went home alone, bringing two helmets ha ha. Later he told me he must go back near Cilegon border to buy another helmet first before he came back to the city.

What a night!!! I reached home at 8.30, so cold and trembled. But thank God I was tired, so I could sleep easily. Ams didn't return home until early in the morning. When I went to work he was still sleeping.

So, when I went online and saw Patrick was online too, I sent a message for him, "my husband is not weird anymore... he's getting crazy."--"Why?" he replied and I told him everything. Funny, in the end he said, "oh..that kind of romantic..."

Ho ho, what Patrick said kind of reminded me why I love ams, because he is ams he he, who's so different from any other men. So I called ams and told him, "sorry..." and he said, "me too". Then our life back to a normal and simple life. You tell me, are we weird? or romantic?

Piyo vs Miyo

My mother called me, "bla bla, take care of yourself and the... bla bla, if you want something go for it... bla bla, I told mas Raul to give you whatever you want and he said okay..." Aha! I called ams right away, and I said, "Why don't you tell me your promise to my mother?" - "E he he he.." - "bla bla bla... remember your promise to my mother, okay? bla bla bla... remember your promise to my mother, okay? bla bla bla... just remember it!"

Hu hu hu.... actually I don't want any strange or rare things. I only want to see ams as much as I want plus a pillow and hot water, just that.... hu hu. And if I said I want the red lion--he calls it singo edan--ams already knew it. And he bought me a red cat instead. It's okay ams... thank you :* But my mother told me not to play with the cat for a while.

Nice Guy vs Nice Buffalo

Heart is a mysterious thing. What inside the heart can change so easily. You hate someone so much and at a moment your heart flip over itself and you're in love. This is what happened to me yesterday. Aheeem... Did I fall in love?

Every evening, on my way home, I have to do something so dangerous... crossing the street. Laugh as hard as you can, but it is a very creepy one >:P. It's a fine and wide street (8 lines). A perfect street to drive through with full speed. It's busy all the time, especially on after-office hour. That's the time when I have to cross it over.

And yesterday when I timidly stepped back and forth at the side of the street, waited for a pretty clear and save path for me to walk through, there came a guy at my right side. He was gonna cross the street too. And when he did it, I was so amazed, he did it confidently, gracefully, no stepping back. So, he made thing easier for me because I could walk along with him safely. And we got into the middle of the street successfully. And we turned our sight from right to left, where the vehicles came from. And suddenly the guy walked behind me and stood at my left. Woa, at that very moment I felt something warm in my heart. How nice! So, he'd set a safe path for ME again? Yes, he did.

Did I fall in love? Too bad, this story is not that fabulous a.k.a ridiculous. All I want to tell here is that how a very simple gesture can touch my heart. I'm not falling in love but I hope to meet him again, every evening. I hope he'll always be there when I need him, to help me crossing the street ha95x.

Talking about crossing the street... back then when I was in Cilegon... if I had to come home late at night... ams and I must watch the street ahead carefully because sometimes there's a herd of buffalo lazily crossing the street of krakatau industrial estate. Their grey color, matched with the color of the night, can trick our eyes. I don't want the same accident happened to me. The accident that happened long long time ago... me and my father, on a motorcycle, we crashed a big buffalo that was crossing the street at dawn time. You may think that was funny, but it was not. I fell down so hard. It hurt both my stomach and my pride. And the buffalo just ran away.

Surprise!!!

I got a message at my cellphone from Aswin, my ex coworker at the previous company that I worked for, "Why don't you reply my message at YM? They placed me at CM 1, no internet there you know!!!" (=He went online with struggle)
Ha ha, another victim of the proxy that make me looked online after I already sign out and exit from YM.

I said sorry, bla bla bla, and then he told me, "You got annual bonus, if you don't want it, I'll also take yours for myself ha ha!" What? Bonus? What a surprise. Let alone its amount, the fact that they still remember me kind of touch me, hu hu.

It reminds me of a similar situation, it was when Sofi, a finance staff of my other previous company called me two months after I resigned, "Are you keeping your old BCA account?" - "Yes, why?" - "We're gonna transfer Rp xxx into your account. It's the reward for your article." Ho ho, what a surprise... though arose a wicked thought: "that article I wrote at the stone age?" hu hu hu, sorry, I really95x appreciated that kok. Like my wise ams said against mbak Meja: It's not all about the money.

Two Questions

This posting is partly inspired by diBond's blog. In one of her posting, she wrote about questions that she hates the most, she likes the most, etc. These are the questions that I dislike the most:
1. Why are you moving from Cilegon and from KHI?
2. How long have you been married? Why don't you get pregnant or have a child?

Number 1, believe me it's a long story. I don't like to answer it because it'll only lead to another questions, or rather as judgements. Many people said, "too bad, KHI is such a big company, and it's better than other members of KS Group (read: higher salary)."
One said, "and you're gonna live separated from your husband? Ah, you're youngsters... you live your life without a plan." W..what? I'm not younger than you, we're graduated from high school in the same year! Ha ha! And furthermore, I made my decision of leaving KHI after 3 months of frowning forehead, disputes, and sometimes tears.
So, if you ask me question #1, now I tend to answer it shortly, "I don't feel comfortable working and living there." Yet, for this simple answer, one said, "ah you say it so easily!!"
Oh God, please let them know that in this world there's a thing called "tenggang rasa", consideration. Ha ha, please give them P-4 course again!

Number 2, that's not a long story. But I'm tired of that question. I'll simply smile, and when they force me more to answer it, I'll only say, "Please, pray for us."
For some people, that short answer is as useless as the long one. They'll still give comments like,
"don't prevent your pregnancy!" - We don't, I've already told you that.
"Having a child is cool! Like me, I want many children." - He he, get married first please.
"I tell you, you're not doing enough 'efforts'..." - Ow you're saying that having children equal to good in bed? Well, congratulation then. But I don't want to hear any of your "bed stories".

I wish everybody was just like my mom. Concerning to that questions, she's the most wise person. Despite the fact that she's the happiest person to know that I was working for a BUMN... when I told her that I was moving, she said, "Oh, wherever you live, wherever you work... it's OK, as long as you're happy." And I know she'll be the happiest person to have a grandchild from me but she doesn't ask me, "are you already pregnant?" cause she thinks it'll hurt my feeling. Actually, I'm just bored to that question :P and yes, some comments do hurt me.