Kindergarten Teacher And Something About Love

Damar is such a popular boy for his age. I'm not kidding. I'm not the only one who has such an opinion. When I leaved for work yesterday, Damar already had three guests, five with the adults. This morning, two girls. You may think that I am happy for this fact. Not totally true. Sometimes our -or Damar's- guests drive me insane.

Imagine these scenes:
- Abdillah grabbed Damar's boots, Damar grabbed Abdillah's face. Damar's mom grabbed his son. Mbak Fari grabbed Abdillah. Damar cried. Abdillah cried.
- Neng built something with legos. Damar disassembled it. Neng pinched Damar's hand. Damar yanked Neng's hair. Damar's mom yelled, "no fight! No fight!" They continued hurting each other. Damar's mom grabbed his son. Damar cried.
- Ipan ran and teased Damar. Damar walked fast, tried to catch him. Damar tangled by his own feet. Damar cried. Ipan went on running and teased him.
- Ipan played a ball. Abdillah wanted his turn to kick the ball. Ipan won't let him. Abdillah cried. Mbak Fari yelled at Ipan then locked him out of his own house. Ipan got into Damar's home and turned the TV on, loudly.
... and there were many more. Believe me, even their harmless michief could make me so upset.

What make it harder is that Damar enjoy being with his friends. No matter how loud his crying because of his friends' behaviour, it'll be louder if I take him away from them. It always ends up with he's being really mad at me. That's why everytime we hear someone calling Damar's name outside our home, Damar smiles wide and I frown. Sometimes a really bad thought comes into my head that Damar will love his friends better than his own mom. Oh please God, don't let that happens. I am not afraid being called an egoistic mother. I love him and I want him to love me. I hope someday he'll understand that all that I do was nothing but to protect him.

I am positively sure that I can be very patient with my own boy but not to other kids. That's why I was really surprised when yesterday Mbak Fari asked me, "are you a kindergarten teacher?" Wa ha ha, I am so grateful that I am not! Mbak Las will suit better. It's so lucky we have her.

Sun Salutation

Hey, it's been a while since my last post here. I have to admit that I got caught with the Facebook frenzy. It was enough to keep myself busy, not to mention that my job only was already making me crazy over these past few months. Who won't get crazy with Symbian by the way? I will worship anybody who didn't and who help others who did. It drained me mentally and physically as well. Thank God, this project is partially over now. My boss let me have some relax time now. He even suggested me to have a leave. Oh yes, a short calm before another storm. Whatever... I'll enjoy this moment, however brief.
I don't have to come home so late this time. That gives me an opportunity to start reading books again. And also having a lazy morning with my boy again. Not so lazy I guess, we spend it by walking around the neighborhood together, just the two of us. Greeting the morning, the sun, the cats, the people.
I even try to do the sun salutation every morning now. I watch this routine for the first time on the video downloaded from youtube by my ex coworker. I didn't know its name by then. A couple days ago I read about this routine at Dr Oz website. It's simple; It doesn't take time; I tried to do it and I felt pretty good about it so I decided to practice this routine from then on. And every morning I did it, Damar was -still laying in the bed- giggling while watching me with his curious eyes. What so funny dear son? Well, I couldn't be more happy to do something that entertains him. So, it's another reason to keep doing this. Maybe someday he'll follow me doing it instead of just watching and giggling. That'll be my turn to watch him and giggle, ha ha ha.

Half Face Helmet

After I got the kite string accident more than a month ago, I asked bapak a good helmet with something to cover my face against another kite string or big rain drops. I want a half face helmet. We've already been looking around at some malls and the helmets we've found there were either too expensive or too heavy (according to my opinion). And after more than a month, I still wear the same helmet :(.
Yesterday, one of my coworker said that from this month, all motor rider in Bandung must wear standard helmet (what standard?). This rule will be socialized from November 15. Oh no!! Socialization means police officers everywhere! Oh no!! I have some kind of police paranoia because I don't have a driving license! That's strange because my father is an ex, hahah!

The Write Stuff

my handwriting personality is... dreamy doodler

Your handwriting shows that you are first and foremost an individual. A little rebellious and a lot quirky, routines bore you and you're happiest when things aren't operating on a set schedule (kind of makes school and work a drag, right?).
You seem intuitive to the point of almost being psychic, have friends from several different cliques and your clothing style is always changing. You probably have a passion for strange, found objects and might be a bit of a flakester (sometimes).

What does your handwriting reveal about you?

Accident

The rider of Mican was crashed by...
...
...
a nasty kite string...

It happened yesterday at Pasteur - Surapati fly over. I got several ugly cuts on my forehead, right eye, and upper cheek. Thank God I still could master my Mican although another motorcycle rider scolded me. Apparently he changed his mind and thought that I needed some help. He slowed down his motorcycle and then looked around. But I was fine by that. I continued my journey home with the wind blowing over my cuts, hu hu... it hurt.

I considered myself lucky upon that accident. My coworker had a similar accident in Jl Gunung Batu and he fell down.

Oh kids, don't fly your kites around the highway please. And Mr. Chest, here your people needs some nice public areas. And dear bapak, now I really need a good helmet. Oh and a nice jacket will be great as a bonus :P.

Damar's Birth

- My EDD is 27 January 2008, Damar's birth day is Saturday - 5 January 2008 - 00:20, didn't reach the 37th months of pregnancy.

- From week 0 until birth date I stayed in the house by myself. Bapak worked at Cilegon and then moved to Palembang. A week before the day I went mad at him because I thought he took the detail of the delivery business so lightly. I asked him, "If I went to the hospital without you, then who will do the registration stuff?" He simply answered, " let the nurse do that." Waaaaaaaaah was I mad!
I did the registration by myself :|. I had 3 to 4 cm dilation and was having some strong contractions when I filled up the form. Thank God it was not a long one.

- I was first having my contraction on 4 January 2008 02.00. On 2 January 2008 the host of the house I lived was died of lungs tumor. All of the family went to Gombong for his funeral.
I hoped that I could ask for their help when I had my labor, and they've all gone :'(. So I asked for Erti's help instead. Erti, Mas Budi and Rahma.... thank you so much. They helped me called the taxi. They went with me to Hermina Pasteur and they stayed there until another family friend arrived: Ajiz, Pak Iwan and Sofi. The later family stayed at the hospital until baby Damar was born in the middle of the night. I'll make sure Damar put them in his heart forever for all their kindness. Am I going to cry :'(.

- I haven't convinced that I had labor until around 09.00 when the mucus plug was out. I went like "oh what am I going to do..." I thought the contractions I had the whole night was just a plain stomachache. Then I took a bath, washed my hair, washed my clothes (I consider this as an extreme nesting behavior!), prepared my hospital bag, called bapak that "I think I'm gonna go to the hospital right now, please go home." And then I asked Erti to come to help me. We arrived at the hospital at around 12.00.

- The nurses put baby monitor on my tummy twice. My contractions went rare. At around 14.00, they said that I should go home, they thought I won't give birth that day. I felt uncertain. I wanted them to check my dilation first. The nurse did that and said, "Oow... you're 3 to 4 cm dilated." I asked her, "I suppose that's a long way to delivery?" She said, "nope, you're gonna give birth NOW."

- Around 16.00 I was still 3-4 cm dilated. I went outside the delivery room. Watching TV with Ajiz. I had my contractions stronger and more frequent. Around 18.00 I went back to my room. I felt sleepy and tired.

- My gynecologist was Dr Sofie Rifayani but that day she was in Bali. The nurse said that I would be in Dr Irna's hands instead. And she said, "Oh... she's also a good doctor." And I think, "Oh like it will matter... I was too busy to digest all of this."
The doctor came at around 19.00 and she studied the baby monitor result and she said, "I think you should wait until 37th month. You don't have any progress on your dilation. You can stay here tonight but tomorrow you can go home and please come back here on Monday to have another check."

- At 19.30 the doctor asked me to come to her room. She examined me using the USG tool. And then she said the same thing that I should go home tomorrow. I should take a rest so I won't have anymore contractions, oh and I've been wandering around and I took the stairs up and down all afternoon! That suggestion was to late haha!

- I went back to my room and I said to Ajiz that I'd like to have some nice sleep so she left me alone. I was having strong contractions. I tell you, the breathing technique was so worked for me. When I felt that pain I just breathed and breathed and hold the bed metal frame above my head so strongly. And between all that contractions I slept quite nicely hahah.
But at around 23.00 I couldn't sleep anymore. They grew stronger. I felt like I was going to the toilet but it was too painful to get up from sleeping position and then to get down from the bed. I couldn't help moaning... I couldn't even call the nurse or Ajiz, I went like "oh what am I going to do" once again. Fortunately the other patient in that room told his husband to helped calling the nurse. The nurse came and helped me and she said, "I should check your dilation. Please tell me when you're not having your contraction." So she checked me when I was not having it, and she was giving shocked face and she screamed, "it's a full dilation!!!" Was I relieved!
She screamed, "now... now... it's now!" And she prepared all the tools quickly, she called the doctor, she called her friend to calm me, it didn't work :D. How come they told me, "Hold! Hold! Don't push! Don't push! The doctor's not here!" So I yelled at them, "where is the doctor?" The nurse said, "she's downstairs... just wait a second." Then I heard them whispering that actually the doctor was on her way home, hahah!
One of the nurse sat on me so I couldn't open my legs, oh that was fine. The other one rubbed my back to comfort me, it didn't work, I yelled, "don't rub my back! I must concentrate on my breathing!" I tell you, when there's no husband to be yelled out, the nurse will be a great substitute hahah.

I felt like I've been waiting forever to push but when the doctor finally arrived I asked, "may I push now? now?" Ha ha, that was a so silly question I admit. So they all yelled at me, "YES, NOW! NOW!" And I pushed, and they were all disappointed. That was not the right way. I thought, "oh what can you expect, it's my first time!" They showed me the right way and I was suddenly became a master, yeah! I pushed once more and I saw my baby boy's hair.
And I saw Ajiz and bapak burst in, and both of the nurses said, "aaaaaaaah here is your husband!", hahah, they sounded so relieved when bapak was arrived, yeah yeah free from the husband substitution duty!
And I saw the doctor's scissors. And I don't care for any of them. I only cared to push and push and I saw him, my baby boy! Yes, I remembered pushing only three times, four if the failed one was counted he he.

- The doctor pulled my placenta out and she said, "oh... there was some leftover. You know... before the due date, usually the placenta is still so sticky to the cervix." And there... she took out the leftover manually, using her hands naturally. She went in several times. When she was doing it she gave expression like she was saying, "oh no... not there. Maybe I should reach in deeper? Oh yeah... there it is. And maybe I should check that spot... Oh I like this cleaning business! Yes, I am!"

- I was so sleepy I almost left Damar sleeping while he was giving his best on the early latched on program kekeke. He seemed to take so long time until the nurse said, "if your baby doesn't found your nipples in another 5 minutes I will take him to cover him." Oh okay, that was fine for me.

- I was suddenly became so alert after the nurse and I were having an argument over a catheter hahah. I don't want to pee and she insisted, saying that based on the procedure I must pee first before she let me left the delivery room.
I left without pee :D. And she said, "oh you doesn't look like a mother who gave birth." How come? And she said, "you look so fresh." Oh maybe I won't if you still insisted me to pee, kekeke, kidding.

- Thank God for that argument I can give my colostrum to Damar right away that night. The baby nurse said, "Dedek ini pinter banget nyusunya" I can't give that expression in English :P. So, the first nickname for Damar is "dedek yang pinter nyusu". Every time she met Damar, she called him that way.

- And I got my own nick name from this nurse who help my delivery, her name is Suster Dorothy by the way. She called me "ibu yang paginya disuruh pulang tapi malah melahirkan."

This is a story that will stay in my heart forever. God has made it 'so easy' for me to gave birth when I was feeling so alone and helpless. Oh how I was blessed with the love from my mother, my husband, my family, my friends, and of course my son! And also the help from the doctor and the nurses. Thank you.